Jun 2013

National Flash Fiction Day #NFFD

Today is National Flash Fiction Day #NFFD I was glad to see one of my stories "The Diverting Tale of the Monkey Man" was selected to be published on the Flash Flood site today.

Go and have a look at the site. There is a mountain of short fiction on there to while away some entertaining minutes. You won't be disappointed.

"Precarious" - VisDare FF

My third VisDare after submitting two last week - "Oak" and "8:49" - is called "Scales". This week the word was PRECARIOUS and the picture was this unusual black & white of someone walking barefoot on a piano:


photo source


Through the open doors to the garden a sudden gust sent the net curtains shivering, then Penelope saw with growing dread the slow motion toppling of the table with the tank on.

The thick glass stood up to the fall well, but the plastic edged lid came off. Monty was spilled out and his new home was suddenly a lot bigger.

Penelope had just had her lunch and wondered whether the python had eaten. This was a time for action though and she deftly flicked her summer shoes off and climbed onto the piano stool. It didn’t feel tall enough and her only option was to climb onto the beautiful instrument.

With an un-melodic plinking and plonking she moved precariously across the ivories. Trying to be light on her feet in deference to the absent teacher’s piano was difficult with snake induced panic. She had never like scales.

(150 words)


'The Twitter List' - First Trifecta

The Twitter List

As I licked the final taste of my breakfast bacon from my lips the laptop heralded the arrival of an email. I’d been added to a List on Twitter, which wasn’t that common for me. In fact it was the first time and quite intriguing. The list had my name in the title, ‘The David Joseph Revolution Club’.

I assumed that when I clicked on the list I was going to find all the members were random David Josephs, or that it would be people I knew. In fact there were hundreds of people of all genders and ages from all around the world. I didn’t recognise a single person on the list and the only David Joseph was me.

Later the heavy knock on the door and simultaneous bell ringing was indicative of some urgency. I yelled that I was coming.

At the door I found police in riot gear, some army types and a couple of suspicious looking men in black suits, shades and all.

‘Mr Joseph,’ said one of the suited men.

‘Err, yes,’ I started.

‘We know it is,’ said the other suit, ‘it’s time to come with us, as I’m sure you expected.’

The taste of bacon returned along with something more distasteful and I tried to swallow it back.

‘To be honest I don’t have a clue what’s going on,’ I explained quite truthfully. I assumed it was a mistaken identity drug raid, ‘I was about to go for a walk around the park.’

‘You’ll only be walking to the car there,’ said the first suit pointing, ‘We have questions about your little revolutionary club.’

‘What? This is some sort of wind-up,’ I peered past the countless men in the garden expecting TV cameras.

‘This is not a joke Mr Joseph. We take this kind of thing very seriously and so does Mr Obama and the CIA. Call me Mr Prism,’ said suit two, putting his hand on my arm, ‘Have you ever been to Cuba?’

The story is based on the 'Trifecta' word of the week, namely; 'Club', 3rd definition;

1a : a heavy usually tapering staff especially of wood wielded as a weapon
 b : a stick or bat used to hit a ball in any of various games
 c : something resembling a club
2a : a playing card marked with a stylized figure of a black clover
  b : plural but sing or plural in constr : the suit comprising cards marked with clubs
3a : an association of persons for some common object usually jointly supported and meeting periodically; also : a group identified by some common characteristic   
b : the meeting place of a club   
c : an association of persons participating in a plan by which they agree to make regular payments or purchases in order to secure some advantage  
d : nightclub  
e : an athletic association or team
4: club sandwich
- See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2013/06/trifecta-week-eighty-two.html#sthash.f6e0Axff.dpuf

MWBB, VisDare and Trifecta

Put the #MWBB in yesterday in quick quick time. Ended up being the first one up, so was briefly the best one up there. Also the worst of course. It's called 'Ink' and turned out being very lovey dovey.

Today I completed
two VisDares for the new word and picture, which went up today. The word was Precarious and the pic was of someone in bare feet walking on a piano keyboard. One is called 'Scales' and the other 'Flower Power'. Need to decide which one to put up!

Found another one to try called
Trifecta (thanks to Mike Jackson) and reeled of a quick story for that this evening. Will have to decide which ones to stick with and which ones to either drop or dip in and out of. There is so much out there.

My Trifecta story is on the next blog entry.

Mid Week Blues Buster - Week 18

The Mid Week Blues Buster - Week 18 has just gone up today with a tune from Faun, a German pagan band. The song Tinta, or 'Ink', is sung in Spanish. So now I've to write a short story based on a Spanish song by a German pagan band - a tad different that last week's plain ole White Stripes!


Busy Week

Been busy with bits of writing and updating the old website. Been getting to grips with some new stuff - like adding Disqus to the site so that people can put comments up.

Now I've had to add a new
Wordpress account, in case I want to do a blog when I am away from my laptop. So now I've also had to learn about putting Frames into the website (this website has been built using Rapidweaver on my MacBook Pro).

It's not ideal having all my presence spread through the blogosphere in such a disparate fashion, but I'll see what I can do to try and keep things as centralised as possible. I am aiming to continue to use this site and blog for the bulk of stuff.

The wordpress blog can be accessed through this site - in said iFrame from menu above - but it will no doubt look much better on its own - you can access the Wordpress blog through zevonesque.wordpress.com Still, it's just a means to an end in case I want to submit for a Flash Fiction competition or such like while I'm MacBook-less, so it probably won't be used too much.


Mid Week Blues Buster - Week 17

The Mid Week Blues Buster is a weekly Flash Fiction competition where a song is provided as a prompt - last week's (Week 17) was Rag and Bone by White Stripes. Found out yesterday that I was awarded a second place in last week's. Even though there were only 6 permitted entrants this week I am still made up. Nice to get a bit of a mention and hear that it made a few people smile. The story was titled 'Locomotion', though I nearly called it 'Drag & Bone', see it reprinted below.

If you fancy having a go check out the
MWBB site each Tuesday for a new musical prompt.

In the meantime my story for Week 17 is below:


Every week Joe drove slowly around the estates of north west London in his rusty flat back wagon. The old speaker on the roof would crackle out with one of four familiar calls, none of which would be discernible if you didn’t know them. His 45 year old face was long and a little thin and his hair greying. Life had made him look older, but it was still a jovial and welcoming face.

The rag and bone was a throwback to the 19th Century rebranded since the 1990s as ‘recycling’ and he loved the simplicity of it. He just moved crap that was too big for the bins that people couldn’t get down to the tip. More often he was actually just taking stuff that people couldn’t be bothered dealing with. He loved other lazy people.

Occasionally he would hit pay-dirt of course. People not knowing what they were disposing of, the ignorance of the general public, was his very best friend. Joe hated the proliferation of TV programmes like Antiques Roadshow and Bargain Hunt. Still, each day he would drive his old banger of a wagon back to the yard packed with tat and at the end of his day he would be climbing into his new Merc to drive to his rather handsome home in the suburbs.

This particular Friday was to be a good day. A young man in a rush to clear his grandmother’s flat was stood by the road with some boxes. ‘Can you take these of my hands mate?’ the man called across to Joe.

‘Looks light, is it clothes?’ said Joe trying to sound friendly and slightly uninterested at the same time.

‘Yeah, just a few rags I’m afraid mate, a few books,’ the man said, ‘Sorry there’s nothing more interesting. She didn’t have a lot my gran.’

‘Pile them on the back then,’ Joe shrugged, ‘I’ll get rid of them for you.’

He loved ignorant people.

Back at the yard Joe was on his knees going through the boxes methodically, whilst a mix CD was blasting out classic songs from the 1960s. A smile grew wide across his cracked face. His eyes sparkled too and the years seemed to drop away from him.

‘Mary Quant, Ossie Clark. Oh my!’ Joe showed the dresses to Ted, the rather uninterested doberman pinscher, ‘Yves Saint Laurent!’

These vintage classics would sell for a small fortune on Monday. Better still though, today was Friday and there was one dress in particular which looked stunning.

‘His gran must have been a tall lady,’ Joe muttered. Ted emitted a low growl as Joe measured the navy blue dress against his torso.

Tonight was a big 60s night down the club, and on Friday nights Joe became Jo. He could feel his excitement rising as he closely studied his find. He couldn’t wait to be doing the ‘Locomotion’ in that dress.
(484 words)


"Mastermind" - VisDare FF

After finding VisDare just yesterday and submitting a little story to that it turned out I just got in within the week, so the new picture and word has already gone up for this week. This week the word is MASTERMIND and the picture was this black & white of a man wearing glasses consisting of two clock faces. So a very quick effort from me called '8:49'

mastermind clocks
Photo source


Derek liked people. To be precise he liked studying people. He could read about them, or listen to stories about them, all day long. But, he didn’t like talking to them. He craved anything but interaction.

Sod’s Law dictated that every day when he was about his business he would be stopped in the street and asked the time. Being a creative sort he developed a pair of spectacles with clocks on them - he called them clocktacles. Now people could find the time of him without engaging him in conversation.

Whilst being creative Derek was by no means a mastermind and failed to develop a pair he could also see through. On his first outing in the clocktacles he tripped over the kerb outside his home. The paramedics noted that apparently this happened at 8:49.


"Ornate" - VisDare FF

Newly found a writing website, which runs a little Flash Fiction comp using a word and a photo - called VisDare. So gave this a go today. The word was ORNATE and the picture was the black & white of a grand old hall below. My 150 word effort is called Oak below.

photo source


The oak shelves, columns and balcony on the periphery of the hall were all intricately carved with sprawling idealised exuberance. A false nature remade in wood and stone by so many skilled artisans. Clever ornate flourishes always tantalised when you found something new. In contrast the centre was furnished with great utilitarian tables on a simple marble floor.

Even the most careful footfalls could not avoid creating echoes from the floor, and as I moved a chair the resultant screech was predictably loud.

Despite the space somehow the cavernous hall felt terribly oppressive.

The summer evening sunlight streamed low through the stained glass illuminating the ancient books and dark shelves with splashes of rainbows. It would look beautiful to many people, but I abhorred this room.

I purposely let the bucket down with a crash, then bent down to take out the polish and cloths. It paid the rent.

Paragraph Planet

Found out about a nice little website idea called 'Paragraph Planet', run by Richard Hearn down in Brighton. The idea being to submit a story in a paragraph - a short short flash fiction - of 75 words. Has to be exactly 75, including the title. A new paragraph is put up on the site each day.

The second story I wrote for the Fantasy flash fiction competition had quite a strong opening, so I decided to modify that to give it an end (and get it to fit to 75 words). Submitted that on Sunday straight after submitting for the flash comp, and found out yesterday that my paragraph will be up on the site tomorrow. Now that's a nice quick turnaround.



National Flash Fiction Fantasy

Entered another Flash Fiction competition yesterday, which closes today. Putting it in a whole day early… shocking stuff!

The competition is a Fantasy Fiction one and is part of National Flash Fiction Day, with results to be announced on June 22nd. National Flash Fiction Day? There really is a National day for everything.

Will post the story up on this site once the results have been announced, as everyone needs to be reminded about the bog snogglers.